by Serge ‘Mage’ Cote
Is it all right to help someone who doesn’t want our help?
When you are imposing your help on someone, is it still a good action?
I do believe that we must give the chance to the other to accept help. It’s ok to give away in a anonym way. The person who will get it, can still choose to use it or give it away to someone else.
I know that sometimes my help will be refuse. I keep offering it anyway. Because, I know I can make a difference.
I can understand that some people will try to use me. I know that some people think that it’s way better to find someone else to do it for them. I will identify those people and help them in a positive way without doing it all for them.
About Serge ‘Mage’ Cote
Why do I write?
I believe in the butterfly effect.
As small my influence may be on the planet, it is still influence. I want to orient it for the better.
I write my book with the idea of bringing something good into this world.
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
– Edmund Burke
I want my books to be a good place to be. A place that you visit often and feel good about it.
I want my books to bring good energy so the readers will take action to make this world a better place.
I want my books to guide those who don’t know why they feel so bad about their life.
I want my books to be there after I’ll be gone. I want people to come back to them and use them in a positive way.
“The greatest use of a life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.”
– William James
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8 thoughts on “Imposing help”
💜 This is an Extremely Complex Area of Psychology EveryOne yet Imposition is Imposition; the Solution is the Person Offering “Help” to ask why the Offer is not being accepted…if the Other One CHOOSES!!! not to explain then that must be respected; likewise if the Other One does answer and the Person Offering doesn’t like the answer
I think that it is almost impossible to hit the mark when I’m doing the imposing of my belief onto a possible reason for anothers choice.
Having been in the field of psychology for some 15 years now I have made many summaries throughout the creation of a psych sexual social. Along the path that I have been given to walk with another, I can not impose above a suggestion as to a simple reality that it is not MY choice to be made.
In my personal life as well as with the time I am counseling someone, I need to keep a distance of “loving from afar.”
This is a practice for not only toxic relations but I have found it to be a good rule of thumb to remember that we each maintain the ability to make choice toward many people, places & things in a days time. An error in judgement however does not describe my character. Thankfully we each get a few “free ones” within the friendships we havev established. True that we can seem to hurt the one we love (most). That is where our familiarity breeds contempt. Simply, a Life Skill tool has been established as a manner of survival or just the way to walk the maze of social course. When the pain of doing something becomes greater than the pain of not doing it … We are open for change to take place.
How or why along the path is best left to the person in its travel. Me for a choice of what is Life Affirming for my living? And peace to be extended to the person that is the intersection of choice; the varied belief system we might each hold.
I agree completely that there are many variables that can complicate this question of what is Life-affirming. Simple issues of customs that have become a staging or life marker to one may be something more to a tone of offense to another. Here again can be the simple road of acceptance vs. tolerance. May my vision be clear for my own survival of my best self so that its peace may prevail in both nurturing and healing.
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The apostle Paul said, in Romans 7:24, 25, “Wretched man that I am ! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! “
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There is a man from my past that keeps imposing his help, which caused more damage than there was and delayed my chances of getting better because I had to fight him off for years. I appreciate help I just didn’t think his kind of help was the right kind for me. It felt like an invasion and form of control, I hated every moment.
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I’m so sorry you had to endure that experience and hope by now you’ve found a resolution that brings you comfort vs distress.
Sometimes we hesitate to make our views known for fear of hurting or angering the person offering “help” which is self defeating. And that is primarily human nature but at what cost?
Sometimes we have to protect ourselves and let those words of flat refusal and say “Stop” because if we don’t then they see it as Acceptance.
Then you give up on your ability to make the choices YOU choose and the Power to do so.
Take care of YOU. If they don’t respect your Right to refuse then you’ve lost nothing if they walk away.
Smile and say 👋 goodbye.
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Unfortunately the resolution was long hard and painful but eventually I think I did. Thank you for all you said, it feels good.
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